Have you ever watched a movie and as the the credits start to roll, you’re just so thankful that this film exists–the kind of film where you feel a real sense of how important it is, and how much it can comfort and validate some, but then also bring potent awareness anchored in empathy to all others?
I can count on one hand how many movies have achieved that level of impact for me, and Our Friend has just been added to that small list.
Based on actual events and on an award winning article by Matthew Teague, Our Friend talks about a family’s struggle dealing with the terminal illness of their wife and mother, and the selfless love shown by their close friend in taking care of so much of the natural fallout that comes with such a predicament.
This is likely going to be an emotionally heavy movie for most. That can be daunting, and I do believe that you have to be in the right mood to watch this, but to not watch it and write it off as “depressing” would be a major disservice to the film… and to yourself. One of the most beautiful things about Our Friend is its way of showing the sincere, but often overlooked details in the life of any of person hit by cancer. It jumps head first into the realm of tragedy, but it also shows it within the context of a lifetime of love, friendship and mistakes. It shows the perspective of multiple, integral members, including one of the sweetest takes of motherhood I’ve seen put to screen. It offers a glimpse of how difficult this disease truly is, and what hardships and tender moments can occur between diagnosis and death. It even shows the subsequent disarray to a home once a homemaker is sick, the likely insecurity of the partner, and the desperate hope for relief, even if it’s just in the form of a friend doing the dishes. The end result is overwhelmingly touching, shockingly relatable, and worth recommending to everyone I can.
The fact that it’s based on true events makes for a major highlight in and of itself. A lot of the time, that same phrase at the beginning of every movie might be met with numbed, accustomed minds, but this time it hit differently (and incidentally, it isn’t revealed to be a true story till the end). The fact that these delicate emotions were felt and these good deeds done, causes me to think of the friends that would perhaps be there for me if our family ran into tragedy. The film shows how the type of friend to drop everything and commit to caring for you during an illness likely may not “have their own life together” in the popular sense, that they may even be running away from their present, but all the same, they are there for you and always will be; they are unquestionably heaven sent. After the film ended, thinking on those individuals drove me to tears.
Dakota Johnson (Peanut Butter Falcon) plays Nicole Teague, and Casey Affleck (Manchester by the Sea) plays the husband who ends up writing the article largely centered around the goodness of their friend, Dane Faucheux, played by Jason Segel (I Love You, Man). All three actors do an absolutely wonderful job capturing the vulnerability and complexities of such roles. The roles themselves are shared seamlessly amongst each other. I don’t know how this movie being originally released in 2019 will affect its chances come award season, but there are some definite areas in this film deserving of widespread praise. That goes for the expert writing (Brad Ingelsby) and directing (Gabriela Cowperthwaite) as well!
I could go on, but I just want to reaffirm how passionately I feel regarding the importance of this movie. This goes back to responsible movie watching for me (which kind of sounds tool-ish of me to say, and please don’t take me too seriously). However, the concept has become a big deal to me over years of watching mindless comedies, heartless action thrillers and corny romances. Sincerely speaking, if we could choose films more often that capture humanity to this caliber, all of the sudden cinema could be considered less of a lazy passtime, and more of an art that’s demanding of our attention and improvement. Though it’s not one I picture revisiting anytime soon (honestly, it’s really tough to watch), I will be forever grateful to have seen Our Friend.
Recommendation: Go See It!